The blank Page

To sit down pen in hand and try to fill any king of blank page is one of the hardiest things in the world and to make so that someone else want’s too read is even more so,
I have for my sins taken on this task not because I want to make a shed load of money or that I want to push my own ideas on to other people, What I really want is to tell a story which someone other than me will read more that just once.
So far it has taken over two years just too get 108 pages on my computer now I know that doesn’t sound much, but I also have around 215 hand-written pages half of which I have been using the rest not so much.
Some of the pages follow the story line like brick in a wall but others are just part of the story which don’t link too anything just yet,
If the problems I face are of my own making and find it hard, “why do I carry on” you may ask well the strange thing is that nothing or have ever know can beat the feeling I get from writing when you build words row on row, line by line making the people and the ideas from my mind come to life on the pages
Being the only person in the real world that knows want will happen or knows the ending gives me a odd feeling to, I walk around the places in the book and hear the voices of the people I have created above anything that is happening around me which makes it so very easy to fill that blank page, all I have to do is sit down a write
But sometime there is a second feeling and like today it over rides anything the weight of the whole book world gathering up around me, the words not flow and the ones I have don’t fit together it’s like some how being deaf unable to understand what people are telling me and knowing that the only one who hold the key to the hold thing is only me and I am left with a blank page and no way to go,
Would I, should I, bring someone else into the world of my book just so that I could take some of the weight off my back and the truth is I am not sure, when things are going well I work hours without a brake knowing which road to take without question, page on page over and over so it would hard of someone too keep up that, but like today five lines is all need to end a page but I can’t even spell people names right, maybe tomorrow will be better but how much time do I have left


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